Monday, June 13, 2011

LFG - Pants on Head Ponies

Tanking is a strange and mysterious beast now.

The culture of world of Warcraft has been infected with the randomness/anonymity of the internet and that has really caused trouble.  In an effor to try and get used to this I picked up my 70 Dwarf Paladin, got geared up, and sent into the Wrath instances.  After 5 runs Im now 71 and boy...ponies..
So lets start in order.

Round One, Fight!
Theres a Death Knight DPS who is a level higher than me, but has such lousy gear hes only doing half my damage.  After someone pointed that out he starts taunting mobs off me and then complaining im not holding agro.  We aren't talking about being subtle ether, in one fight he was running away from me  and pulling the mob after him when I taunted it.

Verdict: Kicked, added to ignore.  Bonus points for kicking him just before the final boss.

Round Two, Fight!
Beast Master spec Hunter who is pulling before I get to mobs, and using his pets taunt powers to pull mobs off me.  When i ask them top stop it and control their pet they swear at me to stop me bad roleplaying.  Now my character is on an RP realm but I'm not RPing here, I say so and ask if their going to be a smart hunter or a stupid one.  "Stupid!" came the reply.

Verdict: I waited the three minutes it took to kick the moron thanks to the timer.  I'm perfectly happy to sit down and wait - I know they need the tank to go any further.  They know they need the tank.  Oh and Ignored of course.

Round Three, Fight!
I join the group and find three hunters, I sit down and start eating my buff food and in the time it takes me to type 'hello" they have run off and pulled a bunch of enemies and are running around dying.  Now if i get up I'll just waste my food so I wait, Hand of Protection the healer so ALL the agro is on the hunters - who now have dead pets.  They die and the healer and I mop it up.  I say simply 'Now that wasnt very bright' and iim reward with profanity from one guy who drops group, the other DC's a moment later and the third says hes sorry.  Hunters replaced with slightly less epicly stupid DPS and we continue.

Verdict: Profanity boy went on ignore, the DC one I didn't bother I'm Hoping he learned, and the third hunter ended up doing a fine job if a bit eager to hit his big nukes.

Round Four, Fight!
So mad they ate their own faces
I grabbed the two enemies at the start fo the instance only to have a new Death Knight yoink it to him and start fighting it.  I say 'Hey don't taunt mobs off the tank' and the group explodes into profanity and yelling from all 3 dps and the healer.  Their just vibrating in rage that I would dare say such a horrible thing.  So after much abuse of the capslock key they start telling me to move and I tell them nope. I want an apology and the DK gone first.

I tab out and watch some cool videos on Theescapist.  Extra Credits has a great vid on what they think the gaming Oscars should look like.  Check it out here.  Checkign back every few minutes to see if anything changed.  It did kind of they kept running past me from their wipes.  it seems the DK wasnt able to tank and they were getting made and madder (at me of course) for being sooooooo horrible to them and abusing them.

Verdict: After some 20 minutes they finally kicked me and I could get another group with 4 more to my ignore list and a nice fat report to file with the Gamesmasters....since behavior like that is banned by the ToS of the game after all.

Round Five, Fight!
As a paladin you want to pull everything to you and start using your short ranged AoE attacks to keep them on you.  I start off gathering groups up and the Shadow Priest does his Psychic Scream scattering the enemies to the wind.  I managed to more or less get things back under control and just grumbled to myself about hitting bad buttons.  Ive done similar 'oopse' things so I shrugged it off.  Then he did ti again the next pull.  So I tell him not to ever use that on a pull unless I'm dead.  But he hasn't said a thing in group so I just have a i send the healer a whisper saying to not heal this guy if he does it again.  And sure enough he scares all the mobs away from me, then they come and splatter him.  I say again not to do it and he repeats it the fourth pull, and the fifth and the sixth.  Now he isn't living any more its pull and dead priest who isnt earning any exp.  Guy isn't one the foreign realms were saddled with dealing with its just weird.  So after the 6th rez he just DC's and we kick him .. I was sorry to see him go in a way in whispers we had a bet goign how many times he would die before learning and well...I'm not sure he ever did.

Verdict:  Ignored and the winner of the pants on head pony award!
by ~Komppu

Keep Yer feet on tha ground!

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